3 straight forward ways to boost your child’s happiness by creating a peaceful atmosphere at home.
I am a clinical hypnotherapist and qualified play worker. Id like to help help you develop a calm home environment that enables you and your children to have a stress free home life. The impact of this on your child’s well being can then ripple out, improving their enjoyment of school, exam results and friendships. A happy child makes better choices and lays down healthier habits and life’s skills. Just imagine the impact that could have on YOUR well being, relationships and work life balance. Happier children, happier parents.
First things first. Set an example, lead from the front. All of the tips I’m about to give can be applied with only a slight variation to yourself and help you get into a calm headspace ready for some relaxed parenting.
When your youngsters come home from school or other activities, carry out some simple steps to draw a line between the world out there and the world in here. I suggest a change of outfit, a quick wash of face and hands followed by some quiet time to talk about their day and give them your focus. It only takes a few minutes, but it’s priceless in terms of bringing them home into the space of family life. They know you have had a busy day, that you have stuff to do. But they get to have your attention and be able to chat. Tell them about your day, make this mutual.
No TV, no iPad or smart phone. Just you, just a bit of peace.
Everyone needs a bit of a chill out zone, yes you as well. Set aside a place in the home with no TV or other devises. A corner in a room, a space on the landing. A corner in each bedroom perhaps so each of you has that kind on place for themselves. What would you like in your chill out zone ( erm don’t say cocktail’s, that’s a different kind of chilled)? I’d suggest calm easy to read books. Perhaps nature sounds, a warm throw and some calming activity. Perhaps you might keep your journal there, some squashy cushions. What makes this work is ground rules.
This must never be a place of punishment, it’s a sanctuary. Don’t intrude, going to your chill out corner is something we can encourage the child to do, and if they We never get told off here, this is our safe space. Perhaps some sensory toys or fidgets? Come see my collection, I have loads! This is a place to retreat to when you feel the need. A place to get calm. Learning how and when to do that is a great life skill.
Torn down the volume. In any situation where your child appears to be getting tense or unhappy, pause and think, where is the pressure in this situation coming from. Children’s distress is usually (not always but it’s a good place to start) a reaction to external situation. The distress is a response to that situation. But the degree of the distress is usually based on the amount of pressure in that situation. Usually either someone wants something from them, or something they want for themselves.
Examples include a teacher wanting them to behave or perform a certain way. A friend or sibling not cooperating with what they want. A parent not providing an item or response the child wants. So identify what is the external factor. Now look at where the pressure comes from and take gentle steps to reduce the pressure. Ask the teacher to let the child have space, act as a referee between the siblings (just to take it down a notch) or talk calmly about the thing They want from you. Turn down the gas, and the child will be in a better place to find their own solutions.
I work with children and their parents, with young people and with families. I’ve been doing that for more than 40 years, sometime see another pair of eyes and ears in a situation can be very helpful. I love being that extra, I love bringing the calm in and watching the child bloom. I especially love helping parents find their way through this to find their own relaxed parenting style.
I’m very happy to visit playgroups, school and toddler cubs to give advise and meet the little people. The ages I work with most are 7 to 17. Under 7 I work with and through patents. If you would like to have a free chat about any of this, I’m up for that 🙂